College was a different experience because I had great friends and success not only on the field, but also in the classroom. This was the first time that I had a group of African American friends. I viewed life from a different perspective because I did not have to deal with finding a group of people to fit in with and for once, I felt “free to live in my own skin”.

Halfway through my sophomore year of college, I began dating a girl. I usually spent my summers back home in Rockwall, but our relationship had gotten so serious that upon the completion of my sophomore year, I had decided to spend my summer in Wichita, Kansas. The experience was positive and everything seemed great; but, I then received the news that I would not be eligible to play football my junior year. As bad as it hurt to know that I could not play; I decided to still return to Tabor College to finish school.

Shortly after my return to school, I had begun to lose focus. My relationship became such a priority in my life that I decided to move to Wichita, instead of returning to school for my second semester. Originally, I was going to attend a school in Wichita to complete my degree, but that did not work out. So, I accepted a position as a corrections worker and I was doing well at my job in the beginning, but my inexperience and poor decisionmaking caused me to lose this job.

Not long after losing my job, I found out that I had a child on the way. By this time, the relationship had become “toxic”, leading me to become depressed and anxious because I wanted to be able to provide for my child. During my girlfriend’s seventh month of the pregnancy, we decided to break up because the relationship was not improving. From here, I would be stepping into the City of Wichita on my own.

I found a few small jobs by the time my daughter, Kyliee Martin, was born; but, none ofthe jobs met all of my financial obligations. I had run out of options, and my life took a spin for the worst. I decided to sell drugs. Initially, selling drugs was only going to be a “small hustle” to “make ends meet”, but I let it take over my life and turn into a fullfledged operation. Instead of working two or three part-time jobs, I sat in a “trap house” for 12 to 20 hours a day selling drugs.

With my new occupation came new addictions. I was addicted to making money, marijuana, and ecstasy pills. I smoked approximately an ounce of marijuana a day and consumed about eight to 10 pills in a couple of days. I was constantly high and I hardly slept due to drugs and partying. I had become so violent that I even received an assault charge on a law enforcement officer.

In a span of four months, I went to jail numerous times, and my house was eventually raided; but, it was always easy for me to make bail and return to my fast-paced lifestyle. One day, I was in route to my “trap house” when I was stopped by a police officer. I got caught with drugs in my pocket within 1000 feet of a school. When I was taken into jail, I was not given a bond, so I had to stay there until my trial. I had tried so many things to solve my problems, but now I was truly at “rock bottom”.

At this point, I knew there was only one thing left to try. I turned to God, and my exact words were, “Lord, obviously I can’t do this on my own, so if you want my life you can have it, do with it as you please”. That night, I went to sleep expecting to be transferred to a pod the next morning. When the next morning arrived, I was awakened because someone called my name and said I was released. I was not given an explanation or a bond, I was just set free. I immediately knew, just like the time I prayed in high school for something better that this was the work of God. I walked out of the Sedgwick County Jail, ready to live a life for the Lord.

However, as many of you know, “bondage” is malicious. Being bound in your mind is worse than any amount of time you can ever spend behind bars. Unfortunately, within 1½ months after my release, “freedom without any explanation”, I had already slipped back into the lifestyle which was so familiar to me. That life would just not let me go. After another precarious incident which landed me in a “weekly” hotel, hiding out and “detoxing”, with a $5000 bounty on my head, I decided that the only way out was to end my life. After drinking a full bottle of Seagram’s, smoking another “blunt”, and swallowing down a couple of pills; I picked up my 9mm, fully-loaded and placed it to my head, pulled the trigger…Shot #1, Nothing! I checked the barrel, “yes”, all the chambers were still full, and there was no jam. Shot #2, again…Nothing! I proceeded to check it yet again, but in the end, it was the same as before. Gun pointed at my head once more, I stopped and said, “If my brains don’t end up on this wall, I will live my life on FIRE for you, God”. Shot #3, NOTHING!!!

There is NO scientific, man-made explanation for what I experienced in that hotel room, on that day, BUT GOD!!! “The devil made the biggest mistake of his life!” Instantly, I was set free, released from that “mental prison” and now am a living testimony, walking on FIRE for God.